When I was 16 I spent a lot of time with a girl named Beth. She'd been my best friend since 6th grade and I thought there was nothing we didn't know about each other. Boy, was I wrong!
I was a skinny, brown haired, cheerleader at that time. I lettered in swimming and diving and had a great boyfriend who (I thought) I was in love with. Beth was the same age, a little shorter at 5'1" and weighed all of 90lbs. She had blonde hair in a shag cut and she really was a total hottie! And we shared everything! Whatever one of us had or knew was immediately offered to the other. She was the sister I never had, a twin sister at that!
Of course we'd always talked about sex. Everything from first periods to first dates. And beyond that there was no subject I could imagine us not being able to discuss. And so it was when we were both 16 and spending the night in the loft of her father's barn that a new subject came up. We often slept out there in the warm summers. Being near the horses, laying in the soft itch of old straw. On woolen blankets which smelled of years hanging in the drafty rafters. I loved it, it was our secret place where we could be alone and talk about whatever we wanted without fear of being overheard or disturbed.
The single electric bulb up in the loft was unscrewed just enough to keep it dark. Moonlight filtered in through the half open bay door and we could hear the horses quietly moving in their stalls below. I was in a T-shirt and old jeans, smooth and faded and hugging my 16 year old curves. I had one leg over my knee and I was squinting as I picked at a toenail with a long, thin piece of straw. Beth was laying next to me, in a loose halter top and cutoff shorts. It was dark up there, but not so dark we couldn't see each other. I looked at Beth and saw her green eyes in the moonlight like a deer when they're sometimes caught in headlights.
She had just asked me if I ever touched myself. Privately, in my secret place. We'd kinda gone around the subject of masturbation before. We both knew everyone did it, but it's still embarassing to imagine that everyone else knows you do it! Anyway, I stopped picking at my foot and looked at her. "Hmmm...What?" I asked, pretending I hadn't heard. I wanted to see if she'd repeat it.
"I asked if...You know...Do you rub yourself?" Beth asked again, in a low almost stage whisper. It would have been funny if she hadn't looked so serious! But then, I was always the one with the quick wit.
"You mean masturbate?" I asked in the most clinical voice I could imagine. But I couldn't hold it and I laughed. "Sure, what do you think? It feels good!"
I went back to my foot, still acting like she was an airhead for even asking. Leave it to the blondes! laugh...I always teased her about being blonde. A couple of times we'd actually gotten into arguments over hair color! Never something serious, just our hair. We were two of a kind and now she wanted to talk about jerking off!
"Lisaaaa..." she dragged out my name like a whine. "You know what I mean...When you do it, I mean, how do you do it?"
Now I was paying attention. "What? You mean you've never done it?" I must have been too loud because she immediately shushed me, telling me to be quiet! Beth went on to tell me she had tried it a bunch of times, but it never felt really good. Not like she heard it was supposed to. We talked for quite awhile about how things should feel and don't, how everyone is different, blah blah...In the end she finally convinced me to finger myself while she watched. I'm still not surre, thinking back on it, that I didn't let her talk me into it a bit too quickly...As though I wanted to do it. At the time I was suddenly very shy in front of my friend.
We'd seen each other naked hundreds of times! We'd touched each other just about every where you can imagine at one time or another, but this was different. I peeled off my pants, leaving my shirt and panties on. Beth took off everything, to make me feel comfortable she told me. As if having another girl, even my best friend, naked next to me while I did the most secret thing in my young life was going to help me relax!!
I ended up closing my eyes, as I usually did anyway, and started rubbing my pussy in small, soft circles through my underwear. I knew Beth was watching me and I'd deliberately avoided looking at her nude body. I was having a hard time relaxing, my pussy is usually really quick to juice up, but this time I was staying dry. I didn't want Beth to feel bad though, so I kinda pretended like I was getting excited. I was only 16 and I was having my first fake orgasm!! laugh...Pathetic!
I didn't overdo it at least. And actually as I started to breath like I was getting excited and moving my hips ever so slightly against my fingers, I really did start to relax! I almost forgot Beth was there, I could feel my pussy responding to my fingers and I let my mind wander to thoughts of guys at school and teen idols and everything else a teenage girl finds thrilling. I pulled my panties down and started rubbing my cunt like I usually did when I was alone. I worked a finger in and out of my pussy and pushed my thumb lightly against my clit. I was getting there, totally oblivious to everything until I noticed Beth had moved quietly closer.
She was laying next to me, almost touching my thighs with her face just a few inches from my wet pussy. I didn't know what she was doing, only that I couldn't stop!! I was so close! I was going to cum any moment. I remember it like I was frozen in time when I felt Beth's hand on mine. Her fingers between mine, rubbing my aching pussy! It surprised me so much I came immediately! The best cum I'd had ever up to that point in my life! All I could do was fall back and press our fingers against the center of my pleasure. I wasn't even aware of Beth's fingers being distinct from my own.
I was still cumming when Beth leaned over me, placing her warm wet mouth over mine and kissed me like no one ever had before. None of the boys I'd ever kissed had done it like her. Her tongue pushed past my lips as I gasped for air and I responded, sucking on her tongue and drinking her sweet breath. She was still rubbing my pussy, pushing a finger aside my own, into my slick pussy. I felt her small, hard nipples against my bare skin. Her breasts, larger than mine, pressed against my bare arm. How long we kissed like that I don't know. I honestly can't say. When Beth finally pulled her fingers from my pussy and looked at me, I was scared to see her. I looked away when she put her fingers in her mouth, licking them and tasting me.
I was frightened and confused and I sat there, trying to cover myself up while Beth tried to talk to me like she was my boyfriend or something. She told me how beautiful I was and how much she liked being with me. She told me how she'd always loved me, always thought of me as more than just a friend. Beth told me it was okay to be scared, but she knew I would feel the same way about her. That we were meant for each other. Part of me believed her. Part of me wanted to believe her so badly. She was like a sister to me and part of me felt betrayed too. I didn't love her that way. I never told her I did. I never pretended I did. I got angry with her for doing this to me. Angry with me for feeling this way. Everything was wrong. Looking back I know the signs were there, for far longer than I'd ever imagined.
But that night, in the loft, I couldn't give her what she needed from me. She tried to hug me, maybe it was the same hug we had always shared...Maybe it was a new kind of hug, a dangerous hug. I rejected it, shrugged it off and got dressed in silence. We were still friends after that, but we were never best friends again. And I still cry when the moon is full and I think I smell straw and old woolen blankets in the dark.
